I started this piece awhile back. It's one that every time I heard it played on my classical station, I would remember I really wanted to learn it but never knew what it was called!
My oldest son was learning Moonlight Sonata recently, so our Beethoven book was open on the piano. One night, I sat down and started fiddling with the piece on the next page... realized quickly it was the piece I've always loved! It's the second movement of Beethoven's Sonata Pathetique. Musical mystery solved. :)
I tackled the main theme and was immediately in love. It feels AMAZING on the fingers, the way the it flows and the way hands move back and forth. Hard to describe but it's just soothing to play.
The rest of the piece wasn't as easy, at least partially because I found it less interesting and my brain was like, "nah, let's just play the fun part again!", but also because I struggle with "decorative rhythms" sometimes and also with chords played quickly. These are the kinds of things that used to make me give up on a piece. After watching my kids take lessons for a few years, I know now why this is. I never learned certain things and I'm having to fill in those gaps now. It's a challenge sometimes to balance and push through feeling fairly competent in piano in some respects and completely like a beginner in others.
I loved this piece enough though to persevere through it, and, perhaps most importantly, ask for help when I needed it. This piece is the first one I made it all the way through semi-successfully in a lesson. My hands didn't shake... my leg did for awhile but eventually it gave up.... perhaps the positive of a longer piece? LOL.
Anyway, so I'm seeing a light at the end of the anxiety tunnel, which is a huge relief because now I feel like I can actually make progress piano lessons instead of just trying to spend the whole time just battling crippling anxiety. Virtual lessons have actually been a huge help with this. I turn the face-to-face camera off and just leave on the overhead camera, so I can kind of push out of my mind that anyone is watching. If getting my quirky kids through school has taught me anything, it's that you can always figure out creative ways of working around, pushing through, and accommodating struggles and disabilities, anxiety included! (special thanks to my teacher, Cecelia, for always helping me work through it however I need to! :)
I finally was able to play through this piece with no mistakes yesterday and I was so excited to take a video. But of course, the camera running always messes with my brain. Ten takes last night and I gave up. Back at it this morning.... managed this version with a few silly mistakes, but we're calling it good enough because perfection wasn't the lesson here.... perseverance was. :)
